Sunday, 23 August 2009

THE METHANE REPORT

A cow [15/365]
Would you fucking Adam and Eve it?!! I have just been watching Countryfile on our wonderful politically correct, biased, Lefty, "stick your climate change and your global warming up your fucking arse" BB fucking C!
Some PC twats are now trying to discourage us from eating red meat because, and get this, cows are producing too much methane and adding to the "problem" of "climate change"! What the fuckety fuck next???!!!
They have actually strapped large devices to the cows' backs and have run a bleeding great pipe all the way round to their arseholes to measure the amount of methane they produce -  so be prepared for red meat to disappear from the menu if this pile of Left Wing PC vegetarian stormtroopers get their way!
Personally, I would like to round up a herd of fucking vegans and strap the machines to their backs and stick a bloody great hosepipe up their arseholes to see how much fucking methane they produce every day with all that bastard rotting greenery they've eaten!! Fuck the fucking fuckety fuck off you lying Lefty cunts!

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42 comments:

Lawson Narse said...

Nice one BS. Fucking idiots should be strung up with a bunch of broccoli stuck up their arses. Twats haven't got the sense to see how fucking stupid they sound.

All Seeing Eye said...

My next steak will taste even better now I know I'm fucking some extra cunts off by eating it.

Oldrightie said...

There really are too many crap people in the world and they all vote Labour.

Barking Spider said...

Thanks, Lawson. You are so right about these pious, righteous cunts of pillocks and fuckwits who would have us all subjected to THEIR lifestyle. No way!

Barking Spider said...

Spot on, Eye, I always enjoy my steak but this lunacy just gives it that extra-special taste - Mmmmmm - a big fuck-off sirloin would do nicely!

Barking Spider said...

They'll be all the ones with the hosepipes up their arseholes, OR!!

Uncle Bob said...

Couldn't they attach the pipe from the cows arse to a storage tank then use the methane for fuel? Two birds, one stone and then Putin and his boys can go and fuck themselves when we don't need Russian gas any more.

Sometimes my genius is so staggering it scares me!

The Conservative Lady said...

Spidey:
Tell us what you really think.

Hey, I've heard the same cow story over here in Obamaland. Probably tax the cows for polluting the air.

Barking Spider said...

Far too fucking clever and sensible for them, Uncle Bob!! I agree with you - who needs Russian gas when we've got a ready supply here of cows and vegans........okay so it's ALL cows then!

Tarquin said...

I say do it - force us all to go veggie!

That'll get rid of bloody Brown for good, it'll be like the poll tax riots x 500

Barking Spider said...

I thank you, TCL, you could not make it up and this story really got me wound up and that's when I say what I really think and generally have a good giggle about it when I've finished. Hope you did too!

Barking Spider said...

You realise, of course, Tarquin, that the whole country would end up smelling like shit! Mind you....Brown's gone a long way towards turning it into shit already!
Forcing us to go veggie, though, really would finish Brown off - poll tax riots with added methane - lovely!

Nickie Goomba said...

I like your Vegan idea. Those lentil eaters could power a small city.

Amusing Bunni said...

Hi Spidey! You are really funny when you swear alot, but I'd be swearing a blue streak too if they took away my lovely steaks and prime ribs!
Those PC imbeciles out your way are really in need of some therapy! They should all have to clean cow barns for 10 years, and let the farmers run things, they would do a better job!

I also feel sorry for the cows, having to put up with people bothering them like this! Cute pic too, btw

Barking Spider said...

They would probably do a much better job than the cows, Nickie!

Barking Spider said...

I really liked that pic too, Bunni.

This is the kind of crap these biased BBC/Labour fucktards throw at us every week, sometimes it feels like every day. I honestly think these twats are way beyond therapy - best to let the vet give them a little injection and put them out of our misery!

Edgar said...

You're right about the vegans: all that extra vegetable matter, decomposing in their guts, gives them a methane fartprint about 20 times that of your average carnivore. Thus: feed the vegans to the cows: feed the cows to the people who recognise that their bodies are evolutionarily adapted to meat, and all is hunky dory.

Fausty said...

Don' let the cnuts get to you - fart for England!

Opus #6 said...

That cow's nose is really CUTE.

That said, the pc crowd takes things too far. Yes, they need to take some anti gas pills to combat the methane they produce from their lentil bean diets....

Barking Spider said...

"Methane fartprint" - LOL, Edgar!

I lived with a veggie for about six years and I'll take the cows' methane fartprint any day! I do like your thinking, I can see it now - "Vegans....The Final Solution"... oh, yeah!

Barking Spider said...

The good old Sunday roast takes care of that nicely, Fausty, this week's being no exception!

Barking Spider said...

I just had to use that picture when I found it, Opie.

The PC crowd try to force their way into every part of our lives that they have absolutely no business or right to poke their interfering noses into, but the only way we can stop them doing it is to get rid of them. I do like the idea of using those vegans to power a small city, though, they could finally be useful instead of extremely annoying!

Angry Old Man said...

Well it's Dolphin soup for me tonight followed by cow pie.

CryBaby said...

They will ban meat soon and red meat will only be available to the Royal family, MPs, EU members and the elite.

They will either do this because of climate change or claim some disease - like the methane rubbish.

Barking Spider said...

Great stuff, AOM, they won't like that one little bit! Ha!!!

Barking Spider said...

You can see exactly where they are heading with this, CB, but there are a lot of people, including me who they will not be able to stop. Let's just say that a lot of pigs, sheep, cows, etc., would mysteriously disappear throughout the land and then they would have something else entirely pointless with which to waste police time. That really WOULD be the last straw and it would cause riots.

I can just see the black market....."Wanna buy a pig? Plain brown paper bag - c'mon round the back, son!"

LSP said...

They're pretty upset about all the cows ruining the environment with their large carbon ***prints. Few things worse than a methane driven lefty.

Dr. Dave said...

Why don't the Leftys just run that piping from the cow's arses to their own fucking mouths, so they can vomit, double over and vomit again, and then finally fucking choke on their own vomit.

Seems to solve the over-population argument, doesn't it?

Barking Spider said...

Too true, LSP, they are completely full of hot air of the worst variety and boy, do they like to spread it around!

Barking Spider said...

Works for me, Dr. Dave - "the only good Lefties are the dead Lefties who choked on their own vomit!" - has a nice ring to it, if you'll pardon the pun.

I'd still like to connect all the vegans up to the National Grid to generate an endless power supply!!

VotR said...

Cotton wool wrapped society. And they say men are in charge. I don't think so.

Barking Spider said...

I'm not quite sure what's in charge, VotR but whatever it is NOT men - not proper ones, anyway!

Teresa said...

Oh bloody fucking hell. These are fucking global warming nuts who are shoving their nutty green propaganda down everyone's throats. I'd like to see large devices strapped to vegans backs also. There the ones producing too much hot air which turns into methane, and harms our planet. I say let's force these green weenies to eat meat.

BTW- In class today, my professor said U.K. is not a socialist nation. Personally I think he's a twat and an arse but what do you say?

Barking Spider said...

Hi, Teresa:

You are starting to become quite fluent in British swearing techniques so keep up the good work and practise hard and you'll be completely fluent in no time at all.

There's not a lot you CAN say to someone like your professor, who sounds to me like he's a Lefty Obarmy sympathiser! Britain has been turned into a seriously socialist country by these Labour fanatics over the course of the last twelve years so your professor is talking utter propagandist bollocks!

Teresa said...

Barking Spider,
Thanks. I'll need a book or website to learn the rest of British swear words. That's about all I can remember from my visit to Britain over 12 years ago. That's exactly what I thought about my professor. Well, I have to take the course, so I guess I'll be hearing more of his garbage.

Barking Spider said...

I'd take a lot of it with a pinch of salt,if I were you, while also making sure you retain what you need to pass the exams - yeah, that sounds like a plan!

darlin said...

Spider, I read this post two days ago and have been thinking about it. I was sharing this story with a few others and trying to find something intelligent to say in response to this bullshit, and I can't find a single brilliant thing to say.
What a bunch of nonsense and I'd love to see our government try to say the same crap here. I live in Alberta and immense pride is taken in our "Alberta Beef." We have wonderful beef here, some of the best meat I have ever had the pleasure of consuming. If the government here even thought for a second of spewing this rubbish, the farmers would revolt!
Insanity I tell ya, pure insanity!

LSP said...

Darlin, good to see you're playing your part for the environment in Alberta (great beef there). You see, every cow you eat = one less 'drowned island' in the South pacific. We're similar here in Texas.

Barking Spider said...

Hi, Darlin:

That is exactly the kind of insanity we have come to expect from this bunch of old tree-hugging ex-hippies now laughingly referred to as the Labour Government, who also happen to be the biggest producers of wind and hot air in the Country! We won't go down here without a fight either.

Barking Spider said...

Way to go ,LSP, and thanks for the link over at your place.

darlin said...

Spider, I can say that I believe you and what you have to say! I love the... passion (for lack of a more appropriate word at this late hour)you emit through your word choices.

I am curious where are these vegans getting their much needed protein from, or dare I ask? One of their largest problems could potentially be the fact that they are lacking protein, I have heard that this does some mighty strange things to people! :-)

Cheers!

Barking Spider said...

That is a very good point, Darlin. They don't eat cheese or eggs or anything like that so they end up bombarding us with the results of having consumed massive quantities of pulses of all descriptions - if I refer you to that scene in Blazing Saddles where they are all eating beans, you'll see where I'm going with this!

So, we are talking beans of every kind, chick peas, lentils and the rest - basically anything that ends up making a loud explosion!! And they have the NERVE to criticise cows.