A is for Ashcroft, B is for Bullingdon... the A-Z of approved BBC swearwords
Following the inquest into the Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand bullying scandal, BBC entertainment chiefs have issued new taste and decency guidelines, including a ban on swearing before 10pm.
It comes after a week in which Labour minister Ben Bradshaw, himself a former BBC correspondent, accused the corporation of being biased in favour of the Tories.
He said that an interview which the Today Programme's Evan Davis conducted with George Osborne was 'fawning and feeble'.
This would be the same Evan Davis who, in the course of a single interview, asked David Cameron four questions about foxhunting in an attempt to portray him as a 'Tory Toff'.
Earlier Andrew Marr had quizzed Cameron about his personal wealth and Jeremy Paxman sneered at Boris Johnson's Eton and Oxford background.
I don't remember any BBC reporter asking Tony Blair about his privileged upbringing or questioning Peter Mandelson on where he got the money to buy a £2.4 million home, let alone a £24,000 Patek Philippe wristwatch.
The idea that the BBC is biased in favour of the Tories is risible.
What has not been publicised, until now, is that the corporation's news and current affairs department has also issued a directive to editors, producers and presenters.
It contains a lexicon of approved swearwords which must be used in all BBC news bulletins and interviews, at every possible opportunity, and delivered with a curled lip.
This column has obtained a copy.
BBC NEWS AND CURRENT AFFAIRS
TO: All producers, editors and presenters
FROM: Controller, Editorial Standards Board
A American, aggressor (see Israel, below), anti-Islamic, Ashcroft (Lord).
B Banker, Bullingdon, baronet, bonuses, BNP.
C Capitalist, Conservative, Christian, chinless, chumps ('bunch of'), Chelsea tractor.
D Denier (as in 'climate change'), duck house, defeat (in Afghanistan), Daily Mail.
E Etonian, ex-public schoolboy, europhobe, extremist (see also sceptic, euro).
F Foxhunting, financier, fascist, free market, fee-paying, Far Right. G Globalisation, genocide (against Palestine, see Israel), greed, gasguzzler.
H Homophobe, homophobia, homophobic, hedge fund manager, hater, hate crime, heartless (see Tory Cuts).
I Islamophobe, Islamophobia, Islamophobic, Israel, Izza-ra-aylee, investment banker (but not Labour 'investment'), inheritance tax cut.
J Jewish State (see aggression, etc), judgemental.
K Knights of the shires (see duck house, moat dredging).
L Little Englander (as in anyone who wants a referendum on Europe), Loyalist.
M Merchant banker, multinational, motorist, moat dredging, mansion, Murdoch.
N Nazi (see also Tory and Israel), neo-Nazi, neo-Con, Nasty Party.
O Oil companies, Old Etonian, Oxford, occupation (see Israel).
P Profit, privilege, privately educated, private medicine, polluter, populist, Palin (Sarah, not Michael).
Q Queue-jumping (see Tory health policy), Queer-basher (see Christian).
R Racist, racism, rich (anyone earning more than £50,000 a year), Right-wing, reactionary, rapists (all men are), roadblock to peace (see Israel and Loyalist).
S Savage (see also Tory Cuts), silver spoon, sceptic (as in euro), selfish, swivel-eyed.
T Tory, Tory Toffs, Tory Cuts, Tory Split, Thatcher, Thatcherite, torture (as in British troops, CIA), tax cuts for the wealthy, two-tier (see Tory health/education policies).
V Victorian (as in 'values'), Vietnam (see Afghanistan).
W Wealthy (see 'rich' above), Waffen SS (see also Tory, UKIP), war crimes (as in American and Israeli).
X Xenophobe (see Tory, UKIP, Little Englander, etc).
Y Young Conservative.
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