Thursday, 17 February 2011

The Obamessiah

  
Apologies if you've seen this before but, if you have, you'll hopefully enjoy seeing it again. It captures perfectly the mass hysteria of the time.......



 
He Ventured Forth To Bring Light To The World
 
THE GOLDEN CHILD
The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followers.......
 
And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness. 
  
The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow. 
 
When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?” 
 
In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites. 
 
And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world. 
 
He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world. 
 
And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more. 
 
From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it. 
 
And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light. 
And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares. 
 
From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet. 
 
In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace. 
 
As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites. 
 
And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over. 
 
The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for. 
 
And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again. 
 
Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it. 
 
And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times. 
 
Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length. 
 
But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him. 
 
And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets. 
 
Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not. 
 
On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One. 
 
And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.” 

AMEN

14 comments:

Sheriff said...

I fear that our special relationship may not survive under this person

Sheriff said...

Most Brits and Americans know that the special relationship is bigger than Obummah, Donald Rumsfeld certainly does

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/us-politics/8320387/Donald-Rumsfeld-criticises-Barack-Obama-for-undermining-special-relationship.html

Sheriff said...

He and his missus are to move into Buck House. They might get to stay!

Sheriff said...

I wouldn't put it past them, OR, they are, after all, the American equivalent of B.Liar and Slotgob! :(

Sheriff said...

I agree, FU, the Obamacommie clearly has an extreme dislike of Britain which he demonstrated while going all out to pin the entire blame for the Gulf oil spill on "British Petroleum"! ;)

Commie, bastard! >:o

Sheriff said...

This vile evil usurper makes me want to puke.  He also is going straight to HELL, along with his harpie wife.
I don't know how he managed to con America into voting for him.  I knew he was a POS from his lst days in the crap city he community organized.  He still is up to his old tricks.  He is behind all the riots in Wisc. and other areas with his organizing ffor America & dnc sites.  He is rabble rousing the unions while a sitting president.  He should be impeached.
But given the stupidity of the USA voter, and the dirty tricks, he'll probably be re-elected.  Ewww, my blood pressure just rose, I'll have to watch and read your article later, Spidey! 

Sheriff said...

Oh, yes - I missed out the removal of Churchill's bust from the Oval Office - what a fucking communist cunt! >:o

Time we jumped on the bandwagon and accuse him and all the other Muzzie extremists of Anglophobia! ;) :-P

Sheriff said...

Since he hates us so much hopefully The  Queen will have it all organised; once Obum and his  Mrs are installed in Buck House it'll be "Orf with his head" and he'll be off to the Tower Of London and Traitors Gate.

Sheriff said...

A capital idea for a capital offence, Banned - chop 'is bleedin' 'ead orf! :-P :-P :-P

Sheriff said...

That's one clever kitty, Bunni! :-P

I don't blame you for trying to keep your blood pressure down - and don't worry, it's not as long as you think - the article is just a transcript of the video. ;)

Sheriff said...

I think, Spidey, that you're expecting a little too much for a Kenyan Muslim with a passion for secrecy and lies.

Amusing Bunni said...

He's a demon from hell.

Sheriff said...

He should burn nicely when he gets back there, Bunni! ;)

Sheriff said...

I think you may well be right, James. :)